Trip To Rome With My Dictator Wife

In 2011 my wife (The Barcelonan Beauty) and I decided to take a trip to Europe. We set out for an enjoyable break from the daily grind back in the U.S. After all, it’s a vacation – a time to relax, right?

At least that’s what I thought.

It all started in Barcelona, where we stayed for two weeks (that’s where my wife is from and where my in-laws live). Our plan was to stay in Barcelona, visit her family, and head off to Andorra for three days, to be followed by a weeklong stay in Rome.

Andorra fell through because my wife’s cousin Edu (short for Eduardo) was plagued with a fierce cold after he agreed to drive us up to the Pyrenees Mountains, for some skiing and a nice spa day in Caldea.

Sure, I was disappointed, but it wasn’t too big a deal. At least not compared to the level of disappointment and frustration I was about to experience in Rome.

Her personal Reign Of Terror taken from the Power Brokers Playbook.

Don’t let her cute little smile fool you – she’s a Travel Dictator of the highest order.

Don’t let her cute little smile fool you –
she’s a Travel Dictator of the highest order.

It’s important to me that you know I love my wife and she loves me. She’s a loving, compassionate, and (for the most part) tenderhearted person. I speak the truth when I tell people she really is my best friend.

But when it comes to traveling (be it to Rome or to Disney Land) my Barcelonan Bride makes Mussolini look like the Dalai Lama. Yes, when traveling, her absolute power corrupts absolutely.

And when she puts on her Dictator’s Hat, like she did in Rome, I’m sure to become a dissident. And that’s exactly what happened.

Here were the planks of her Travel Manifesto during her Reign Of Terror in Rome:

  • Subjects must strictly adhere to the Rome Itinerary put together by Barcelonan Beauty. Variations from the formal Rome Itinerary will result in endless bickering and forced celibacy.
  • Any purchases of souvenirs for the sake of enjoyment and remembrance must be approved by Barcelonan Beauty. Transactions that are not approved will result in endless bickering and forced celibacy.
  • Rome Itinerary takes precedence over subject’s hunger, sickness, and general lack of enjoyment. Voicing concerns of any kind is punishable by way of … you guessed it, endless bickering and forced celibacy.

During our weeklong stay in Rome I violated all three planks set forth by the Barcelonan Beauty.

The benevolent and misguided tyrant that she became.

To her credit, my wife is an expert event planner and she did arrange the entire trip to Rome. But her itinerary was so rigid it was difficult to enjoy anything, and I loathe having to abide by rigid plans or itineraries of any kind – especially when I’m on vacation.

For me, relaxing means enjoying the moment and taking in all of the details of my surroundings.

In Rome, there are thousands of years of history staring at you, everywhere you turn. The Coloseum, St. Peter’s Basilica, Piaza Navona, Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain, the Roman Forum, the Vatican Musuems… and it’s all so spectacular.

But I was miserable because I was against the clock the whole time.

At one point, I saw this awesome gladiator helmet that a street vendor was selling. I wanted to buy it, and I did.

The moment she saw the price she screeched, “Twenty euros!”

Here I was on a vacation, trying to enjoy the fruits of my hard work and she’s not having it. I didn’t hear the end of it for the rest of our trip. That’s because I violated Plank #2 of her Travel Manifesto.

But that didn’t stop me from violating the others.

The Hotel Turner, where we stayed.

The Hotel Turner, where we stayed.

When we first arrived in Rome, we had found our hotel and she was ready to hit the city immediately – that must have been on her itinerary. But I was starving.

We don’t stop at a local shop to eat (where you know the food is going to be awesome). What do we do instead?

To abide by the plans she made, we were to take a bus to our first destination (the Vatican Museum) and we would get something to eat there.

And more than an hour and a half later, I ate the worst reheated (by way of a microwave) linguine ever in my entire life – in Rome!

She agreed that the food was horrible, but it didn’t help matters when it came to her must follow itinerary. She pushed on, and pushed me along with it.

I complained and complained and she responded to my complaints as vigorously as I dealt them. As a true dissident, I violated Plank #3 of her manifesto – speaking out against her Ruling Power.

And later on during our trip I tossed Plank #1 aside when we visited the Coliseum. We were supposed to go through the guided tour together. But the moment I got my headphones, she went one way with her Audio Guided tour, and I went in the exact opposite direction. I veered from the itinerary – with a big grin on my face.

Lots of bickering minus the mandatory makeup sex.

To reiterate, my wife and I love each other deeply. In fact, this coming December 3rd is our tenth year anniversary.

The best Linguine Con Vongole I have ever eaten in my life!

The best Linguine Con Vongole I have ever eaten in my life!

And while we did fight a lot on our trip to Rome and didn’t enjoy as much intimacy as we would have hoped, we were still together doing our thing. In retrospect, I really enjoyed Rome and all that it has to offer and so did she. We still talk about it and will for the rest of our lives together.

Right before the end of our trip, we did manage to patronize a small little restaurant where I had the best Linguine Con Vongole I have ever eaten in my life – all arranged by my Barcelonan Bride.

– Meetch Martinez

Meetch Martinez is the founder of Married for nearly a decade, he’s learned (often times the hard way) how much work is truly involved in building a healthy, happy and rewarding marriage. With his psychobabble free, no-nonsense style of writing, he constantly contributes to the development of other peak performing husbands (as well as his own).

He enjoys writing about sex, conflict resolution, romance, finances, and everything in between – when it comes to married life.

@1000Fights  A huge thanks to the Martinez for sharing their Roman Holiday!  Check out Meetch’s Blog, it is a ton of fun.  Would you like to share your couple travel adventure on our site?  Drop us a line.  We would love to have you.

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9 Responses to Trip To Rome With My Dictator Wife

  1. De'Jav December 7, 2014 at 2:38 am #

    It’s comical how you mention that you’re on a schedule with rules to follow.I’m sure you still enjoyed yourself though.

  2. Meetch Martinez December 7, 2014 at 1:20 pm #

    @De’Jav. Man I had so much fun in Rome. My wife is in Rush Mode when we travel and she does have her own set of implied rules. Her schedule is definitely laid out and set in stone :)

    But she’s boat loads of fun to travel with.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment.

    Another year here we go indeed!

  3. Vday February 15, 2015 at 9:54 am #

    I like the title of your post :) She looks cute and doesn’t look like a dictator. I am sure she is humbled by your post. Linguine Con Vongole yummy..Can’t wait to try that when i visit rome.

  4. Jane March 9, 2015 at 1:19 pm #

    Italy is a very beautiful and unique country.
    They have the Venice where we can see many stars every year, they have the famous pizza, and the most exotic supercars.
    I love to go there every year to stay two weeks at Bibione beach.

  5. Hannah White March 22, 2015 at 3:44 am #

    Lovely couple and lovely destination. Glad to see your experience of Rome. Thanks for sharing such a nice post.

  6. Meetch Martinez May 8, 2015 at 2:24 pm #

    Glad you enjoyed the post Hannah.

  7. Uzbekistan Airways March 31, 2016 at 3:51 pm #

    You’re lovely couple and share really useful information for others motivation and help.


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