Tag Archives | marriage

This Friendship Day Make Your Spouse Your Best Friend

Friendship Day is Aug. 6th!  What could be better than having your spouse as your best friend in the world? Your friend is someone you share secrets with, practice your favorite hobbies with, and have the perfect night out with. So, why should your best friend also be your mate? Some traditionalists say you can’t be friends with your husband the way you would with a female friend, but this couldn’t be the truth. Being best friends with your spouse isn’t a process that happens overnight, but it is always worth doing. Here are 9 tips on making your spouse your best friend.

Have Fun Together

This seems like a bit of a ‘duh!’ suggestion, but to make your spouse your best friend, you need to learn how to have fun together.

Put away the cares of the day and shelve talks about babies, bookkeeping, and bills and look forward to quality time spent doing something you both love. This could mean sitting down with snacks and a movie, going to the beach, horse riding, fishing or doing yoga, drinking at a pub, doing bad karaoke or sharing your favorite activities together. Whatever makes you laugh and fulfills your soul, make sure you do it together!

Love Despite Imperfections

Nobody’s perfect. This is a phrase that becomes truer the longer you are in a relationship together! Things aren’t always going to be rainbows and sunshine, but that doesn’t mean you should show any less love. Show your partner your care for them by always giving a kind word, being a shoulder to cry on, loving them for their weaknesses and showing praise for their positive qualities.

Keep things Private

A good friend wouldn’t talk about their friends behind their backs, so neither should you with your spouse! This means not complaining to friends and family about your mate’s shortcomings or expressing the ways in which you wish they were different. Be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader. This also means not sharing private details of your relationship or telling secrets about your partner to anyone else.

 

Get Excited about Things

One thing both sexes respond to from their partner is excitement. When you get excited for something your mate enjoys, such as his favorite sport or her favorite band, it makes them feel closer to you. So when she starts talking about a social justice issue, a new movie releasing that she wants to see, or her latest Pinterest board don’t just nod and smile politely. Get excited! Even if these things don’t particularly excite you, showing her that you’re excited for her will let her know you care.

Be Supportive and Uplifting

Good friends lift one another up. When your spouse is feeling down and out, strive to cheer them up with commendation that is genuine and refreshing. Don’t be a nag. Be quick to remind your partner of their good qualities and tell them the reasons that you love them. Giving praise and showing kindness to one another is exactly what best friends do when their BFF is feeling low.

Put your Mate First

Best friends make time for one another at the drop of a hat. If she needs you, you’re there! If he’s in a bind, he knows who to call. So it should be with your spouse too. Put your mate first. This means never cancelling plans with your mate just because another offer came along. Show interest in their interests, make time to be together, display trust and loyalty, and keeping the doors of communication open about any subject under the sun from the funniest dream you ever had to the stresses of your new job.

Show Forgiveness

Best friends know when to let it go and so should you. Strengthen your friendship and romantic relationship by learning to let go. As stated, nobody is perfect and there are going to be times where one of you hurts the other one. You may forget an anniversary or say something out of line.

Practice learning to forgive and let go. Not only does this mean learning to forgive one another’s shortcomings, it means learning to move on from the small things. If your wife forgot to charge her phone and you couldn’t get a hold of her, do you really need to lecture her about it? Or if the husband wants to spend some time with his brother instead of you after a long day at work, is it worth starting a fight over? The next time you are about to get upset with your mate ask yourself: Is this still going to be important to me tomorrow? If the answer is no, leave it.

Show your Spouse You Care

Have you ever had that moment when you’re feeling pretty ‘blah’ and then your best friend comes around and does something that reminds you how special you are to them? It felt like they showed up at just the right time. This is what your spouse should think of you. Showing your spouse you care about them couldn’t be easier. Something as small as a surprise gift, a special breakfast, a hug out of nowhere, or a sweet midday text can make your spouse feel amazing.

Show Respect

Relationships flourish when there is mutual respect. Give your spouse the same respect you would give your best friend. This means letting them speak, really listening when they talk, not being judgmental about their thoughts and decisions, never speaking badly about them, and never using a condescending tone. Be helpful to your mate, say please and thank you, congratulate them when they’ve done well, and always live up to your word.

Friendship day is a great time to make your spouse your best friend and learn to enjoy one another as friends and as lovers. Taking the time to forge this bond will deepen your connection and give you the best friend you always wanted to have.

 

Author Bio:- Rachel Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

 

0

Fighting at the Better Marriage Conference

 

Better marriages 2015

Exciting news!  The Fighting Couple have been invited to be presenters at the upcoming Better Marriages Conference in St. Louis, MO on July 9-11th, 2015.  If you live in the mid-west and your relationship could use a tune up.  (Who doesn’t?) We invite you to join us!

The conference is being put on by BetterMarriages.org.  Their mission is to promote better marriages by providing enrichment opportunities and resources to strengthen couples.  They have regional events throughout the year that promote vibrant relationships.  Once a year the organization holds their Annual Marriage Conference, inviting couples from across the country to participate in helpful workshops to improve their relationship.

So what will the Fighting Couple be sharing?  Sorry, It’s top secret.  Let’s just say it is going to include a lot of laughs, a few wild and crazy stories from the road, a dash of couple advice, and a lot of fighting.

Are you thinking of attending?  Need more info?  Check out their website:  Conference Info

This will be our first visit to the gateway city.  We are beyond excited to discover what this wonderful city has to offer.  Any locals have any tips/recommendations/good BBQ joints?  Send us a note!

4

The Danger of Expectations (in Marriage and Travel)

One of the many precautions we take in our travels is getting the proper immunizations. Before our Amazon trek, we went in to our local medical clinic and said, give us everything you’ve got! We felt like human pin cushions! Those pesky shots, while painful in the short term prepared our bodies to reject the attack of those pesky yellow fever things. But no immunization or medication can protected someone from an unrealized expectation. We have found this out the hard way.

Perception is Reality?

We just returned from a two week trip to Asia, visiting both Thailand and Cambodia.    I had lived in Taiwan for a couple of years in college, this was Luci’s first visit to the Orient. It was so intriguing to watch her experience a new culture, and dispel and confirm some of her preconceptions. She thought that the food would be spicy, and it was! In other areas she discovered that she was completely off base. Each new place we visit we arrive with the rose colored glasses of glossy guidebooks. (That’s one reason we love the travel blogging community, for its candid un-gussied up descriptions.) As travelers, we tend to be  loaded with pre-conceptions. These notions rarely hit the mark.

 

Pinterest Perfect?

Just like travel, we build in our minds some times unrealistic expectations from our marriages/ relationships. We think things should be a certain way.  Simply because…that’s the way things happen in the movies or on TV. Why would we want to model a relationship after a fictional portrayal? #epicfail ! (I just used a hashtag as a complete sentence! Cross that off the bucket list!) Our culture, our environment push us to envision and quite frankly expect the ideal. Look no further than Pinterest to see well-meaning people create a palette of perfection. The never ending quest for the perfect wedding centerpiece. Then there’s the dress! All of this leads us to create in our mind an expectation, typically unrealistic and unattainable.

Is that really healthy?

How to overcome?

Some of the best advice we have ever received was offered by Javier, our young Peruvian guide in the Amazon Jungle. Before embarking on our night safari in the Jungle he counseled us, “don’t set your heart on seeing any one animal or insect..just enjoy what you find in the jungle.” Wise words for sure. We have often reflected on this advice. Enjoy the ride. Don’t say..i want this, that and the other or the experience is an abject failure. Don’t do that to yourself. Enjoy the journey for what it is. Leave your expectations at the lodge of life and open your heart to the experience.

Finding the perfect in the one you love

Come up with your own perfect. One thing that we have discovered in 15 years of marriage and 25 some years of friendship is that neither one of is perfect. We likely know each other’s flaws and quirks better than anyone else in the galaxy. For a relationship to thrive, we can’t expect our lover to be a combo of every perfect character we have read about in Jane Austen novels. Likewise, it is completely unrealistic and a little dangerous to expect our sweetheart to look like a supermodel 24/7. It is up to us to find the best in those we love, especially our significant other.

 

How do you overcome your preconceptions? What are your secrets to rejecting the pressure for perfection? Let us know in the comments below.

 

5

The Fighting Couple Featured on Marriage Radio

If you just can’t get enough of the Fighting Couple online, you can now catch us on the radio!

 

 

Dino and Shannon Watt’s mission is to improve marriages around the globe.  They host a weekly podcast that highlights real world ideas and hints for couples.  They also run a great relationship site called:  The Business of Marriage.  We took some time to chat with them about the benefits of traveling as a couple.

Topics we cover:

What are the 5 things every Woman should know about traveling with a man.

How to travel really, really cheap.

And how to get a man to go see Jane Austen’s house.

 

Click on the link below to hear our recent interview:

Listen to internet radio with dinowatt on Blog Talk Radio

 

1

The Best Mistletoe Moment of 2011


We have a winner!

A heartfelt thanks to each of you that submitted entries.  We were totally blown away by the number and more impressivley the quality of responses!  Incredible.  This just goes to show that love is alive and well.

Luci and I want to thank you our readers for making this an amazing year.  You have shared your travel fights, crazy adventures, and tender love stories with us.  We are so grateful for each of you! We wish you all many happy miles this coming year.

 While we don’t have a “prize” for them, our judges thought these two were incredible!   The two runners up:

Chris Walker-Bush  from Aussie on the Road

“It was seconds after the ball dropped on New Year’s and my soon to be ex girlfriend and I had fled the beach party on Robinson Crusoe in Fiji to find some privacy.  With our two year relationship set to end in 24 hours when she flew back to the States, tears stood in her eyes as we listened to the distant growl of the beach and felt the warm summer air on our skin. Underneath the gaze of coconut palms and the starry skies, I kissed away her tears and thanked her for the best two years of my life.”

 Mike Howard from Honey Trek

“It wasn’t in an amazing location, or under a starry night sky, and it wasn’t at the perfect time. It was in our kitchen, when we realized we wanted to quit our jobs and travel the world together. After an amazing evening with friends (two of whom told us of their recent journey and inspired us), we sat in our kitchen, staring each others eyes, realizing we were in fact going to make this a reality. That kiss, is the kiss that sealed our RTW fate, and we can not wait for more Mistletoe moments in every country we visit over the next 16 months.”

Without further ado….our 2011 Mistletoe Moment is:

The Kahle’s from Wanderlivin

“A wedding can mean many different things to different people. To the bride it’s the most important day of her life. That’s why when I was told my hairdresser canceled on me the day before the wedding I tried to shake it off. When half of my family couldn’t come because of Hurricane Irene I tried to shake it off. When my photographer didn’t show up – I couldn’t shake it off. Walking down the isle in distress I saw my husband and the way he looked at me as I walked down the isle. When I reached him I pulled his face down for a kiss before the minister could even start as the waves of Monterrey Bay crashed around us and bridesmaids giggled at the ministers disapproval.”

1000Fights: Isn’t that a tender story!  Congrats on your marriage!  We love it.  There will be time for fighting later! Luci says that they are going to have “cute” kids…not sure what that means. We wish the Kahle’s congrats and happy travels!

Thanks again to our “Celebrity” judges!

@travelcanucks   @sarahjstorer   @VagabondQuest   @confusedjulia

Ok…2012 is just on the horizon.  Get out there and make some Mistletoe Moments!

8