Tag Archives | love

This Friendship Day Make Your Spouse Your Best Friend

By The Fighting Couple on August 5, 2017 in Best of the Fighting Couple, Slideshowable

Friendship Day is Aug. 6th! What could be better than having your spouse as your best friend in the world? Your friend is someone you share secrets with, practice your favorite hobbies with, and have the perfect night out with. So, why should your best friend also be your mate? Some traditionalists say you can’t be friends with your husband the way you would with a female friend, but this couldn’t be the truth. Being best friends with your spouse isn’t a process that happens overnight, but it is always worth doing. Here are 9 tips on making your spouse your best friend.

Have Fun Together

This seems like a bit of a ‘duh!’ suggestion, but to make your spouse your best friend, you need to learn how to have fun together.

Put away the cares of the day and shelve talks about babies, bookkeeping, and bills and look forward to quality time spent doing something you both love. This could mean sitting down with snacks and a movie, going to the beach, horse riding, fishing or doing yoga, drinking at a pub, doing bad karaoke or sharing your favorite activities together. Whatever makes you laugh and fulfills your soul, make sure you do it together!

Love Despite Imperfections

Nobody’s perfect. This is a phrase that becomes truer the longer you are in a relationship together! Things aren’t always going to be rainbows and sunshine, but that doesn’t mean you should show any less love. Show your partner your care for them by always giving a kind word, being a shoulder to cry on, loving them for their weaknesses and showing praise for their positive qualities.

Keep things Private

A good friend wouldn’t talk about their friends behind their backs, so neither should you with your spouse! This means not complaining to friends and family about your mate’s shortcomings or expressing the ways in which you wish they were different. Be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader. This also means not sharing private details of your relationship or telling secrets about your partner to anyone else.

Get Excited about Things

One thing both sexes respond to from their partner is excitement. When you get excited for something your mate enjoys, such as his favorite sport or her favorite band, it makes them feel closer to you. So when she starts talking about a social justice issue, a new movie releasing that she wants to see, or her latest Pinterest board don’t just nod and smile politely. Get excited! Even if these things don’t particularly excite you, showing her that you’re excited for her will let her know you care.

Be Supportive and Uplifting

Good friends lift one another up. When your spouse is feeling down and out, strive to cheer them up with commendation that is genuine and refreshing. Don’t be a nag. Be quick to remind your partner of their good qualities and tell them the reasons that you love them. Giving praise and showing kindness to one another is exactly what best friends do when their BFF is feeling low.

Put your Mate First

Best friends make time for one another at the drop of a hat. If she needs you, you’re there! If he’s in a bind, he knows who to call. So it should be with your spouse too. Put your mate first. This means never cancelling plans with your mate just because another offer came along. Show interest in their interests, make time to be together, display trust and loyalty, and keeping the doors of communication open about any subject under the sun from the funniest dream you ever had to the stresses of your new job.

Show Forgiveness

Best friends know when to let it go and so should you. Strengthen your friendship and romantic relationship by learning to let go. As stated, nobody is perfect and there are going to be times where one of you hurts the other one. You may forget an anniversary or say something out of line.

Practice learning to forgive and let go. Not only does this mean learning to forgive one another’s shortcomings, it means learning to move on from the small things. If your wife forgot to charge her phone and you couldn’t get a hold of her, do you really need to lecture her about it? Or if the husband wants to spend some time with his brother instead of you after a long day at work, is it worth starting a fight over? The next time you are about to get upset with your mate ask yourself: Is this still going to be important to me tomorrow? If the answer is no, leave it.

Show your Spouse You Care

Have you ever had that moment when you’re feeling pretty ‘blah’ and then your best friend comes around and does something that reminds you how special you are to them? It felt like they showed up at just the right time. This is what your spouse should think of you. Showing your spouse you care about them couldn’t be easier. Something as small as a surprise gift, a special breakfast, a hug out of nowhere, or a sweet midday text can make your spouse feel amazing.

Show Respect

Relationships flourish when there is mutual respect. Give your spouse the same respect you would give your best friend. This means letting them speak, really listening when they talk, not being judgmental about their thoughts and decisions, never speaking badly about them, and never using a condescending tone. Be helpful to your mate, say please and thank you, congratulate them when they’ve done well, and always live up to your word.

Friendship day is a great time to make your spouse your best friend and learn to enjoy one another as friends and as lovers. Taking the time to forge this bond will deepen your connection and give you the best friend you always wanted to have.

Author Bio:- Rachel Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

Travel-the best V day gift!

By The Fighting Couple on February 6, 2016 in General

Tis the season of Love! Valentines day is just around the corner. We are all facing the age old question, what to give our loved one? Why give chocolates or flowers? Give them the world! We asked a few of our friends to submit “Selfies of Love.” Hopefully this will inspire you to invest in your relationship and see the world together. Even better, we are giving away $50 for the best couple travel selfie! Below are the best of the best we have received to date. Think you have a better one? There is still time to enter! Read below for all the details on entering. Happy travels!

Don’t forget to vote for your FAVE “Selfie of Love” below!

Beth and Ben on a hike up the Santa Ana Volcano in El Salvador. Check out their blog: www.mytraveltools.com

Happy Baha couple!

A room with a view! Paris Opera House

Robbie and Carrie at Kennedy Space Center.

Hamlet Depot, Hamlet, North Carolina.

Love at the Louvre with Olly & Jo of @ollyandjo

The couple behind @onlymypassport in Valencia, Spain.

Charlotte and Cameron at Santa Cruz Island, Channel Islands National Park

[poll id=”2″]

Its not too late to enter!!!! Just zing us a picture and tell us in less than 10 words where it was taken. Send them to [email protected]

The fine print (sorry, we don’t look good in stripes):

1) Pictures must be travel themed and feature at least two people. (No cat pictures allowed.)

2) Void where prohibited. (Void is such a weird word…..Void.)

3) All pics must be “tastefully” done. (Ummm… no weird stuff, ok?)

4) Contest rules are subject to change. (Unless Luci changes her mind….which NEVER happens.)

5) Contest ends on February 10, 2016 at midnight MST. (All good things must come to an end.)

5.5) 18 years old and above only to win. (This is the most fun adults get to have…no kids allowed!)

6) The expert judges at 1000 Fights will pick the winner!. (There are no rules against crossing your fingers.)

7) Submitting pictures to www.1000Fights.com means we can use them. (We will use them in our post if you win. Thats all. We promise.)

The Danger of Expectations (in Marriage and Travel)

By The Fighting Couple on May 29, 2012 in Best of the Fighting Couple, General, Slideshowable

One of the many precautions we take in our travels is getting the proper immunizations. Before our Amazon trek, we went in to our local medical clinic and said, give us everything you’ve got! We felt like human pin cushions! Those pesky shots, while painful in the short term prepared our bodies to reject the attack of those pesky yellow fever things. But no immunization or medication can protected someone from an unrealized expectation. We have found this out the hard way.

Perception is Reality?

We just returned from a two week trip to Asia, visiting both Thailand and Cambodia. I had lived in Taiwan for a couple of years in college, this was Luci’s first visit to the Orient. It was so intriguing to watch her experience a new culture, and dispel and confirm some of her preconceptions. She thought that the food would be spicy, and it was! In other areas she discovered that she was completely off base. Each new place we visit we arrive with the rose colored glasses of glossy guidebooks. (That’s one reason we love the travel blogging community, for its candid un-gussied up descriptions.) As travelers, we tend to be loaded with pre-conceptions. These notions rarely hit the mark.

Pinterest Perfect?

Just like travel, we build in our minds some times unrealistic expectations from our marriages/ relationships. We think things should be a certain way. Simply because…that’s the way things happen in the movies or on TV. Why would we want to model a relationship after a fictional portrayal? #epicfail ! (I just used a hashtag as a complete sentence! Cross that off the bucket list!) Our culture, our environment push us to envision and quite frankly expect the ideal. Look no further than Pinterest to see well-meaning people create a palette of perfection. The never ending quest for the perfect wedding centerpiece. Then there’s the dress! All of this leads us to create in our mind an expectation, typically unrealistic and unattainable.

Is that really healthy?

How to overcome?

Some of the best advice we have ever received was offered by Javier, our young Peruvian guide in the Amazon Jungle. Before embarking on our night safari in the Jungle he counseled us, “don’t set your heart on seeing any one animal or insect..just enjoy what you find in the jungle.” Wise words for sure. We have often reflected on this advice. Enjoy the ride. Don’t say..i want this, that and the other or the experience is an abject failure. Don’t do that to yourself. Enjoy the journey for what it is. Leave your expectations at the lodge of life and open your heart to the experience.

Finding the perfect in the one you love

Come up with your own perfect. One thing that we have discovered in 15 years of marriage and 25 some years of friendship is that neither one of is perfect. We likely know each other’s flaws and quirks better than anyone else in the galaxy. For a relationship to thrive, we can’t expect our lover to be a combo of every perfect character we have read about in Jane Austen novels. Likewise, it is completely unrealistic and a little dangerous to expect our sweetheart to look like a supermodel 24/7. It is up to us to find the best in those we love, especially our significant other.

How do you overcome your preconceptions? What are your secrets to rejecting the pressure for perfection? Let us know in the comments below.

7 Questions with Beers and Beans

By The Fighting Couple on February 13, 2012 in General, Slideshowable

In our continued series of featuring some of the best couple bloggers we want to introduce you to Beth and Randy of Beers and Beans. They offer some great couple travel ideas and some amazing photography.

Meet Beers and Beans:

Beth & Randy in Iceland

Beth and Randy are a freewheelin’, 30-something couple with a 7lb hound named Chachy. Beth is a professional photographer and Randy is a professional journalist, and they blog about their adventures on their eclectic travel website Beers and Beans. Their travel stories have also appeared in USA Today Travel Tips, the San Diego Reader, San Diego Uptown News, BootsnAll Travel Network and other travel websites. You can also find them on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ & Pinterest.

We asked the traveling duo our 7 questions:

1) We love your ebook on how to get off auto! What would be one thing you would recommend to budding photogs that want to take better travel pics?

He Said: Listen to Beth.
She Said: Read the book or any other book that helps you learn the basics of creating your own exposures. If you have the time & money – take a class. Understanding exposure (and how to create good exposure) is the most important thing anyone can learn if they are trying to take better photos. Also, shoot all the time – keep pushing yourself.

2) If you had to travel with someone else besides your travel partner, who would it be? (this person can be living, historical or
mythical?.)

He Said: Henry Miller
She Said: Hmm… Anyone in my family. My family is really fun to travel with.

3)What has been your favorite destination in your wanderings? Why?

He said: Paris. I simply love exploring that city.
She said: It’s really a toss up between Paris & Venice. I guess I would have to say Paris because the light is the best I have seen anywhere. I always feel really creative and inspired when I am there and I never want to leave.

4) If you had to eat one last meal, what/ where would you eat?

He said: I would love to eat at the WWOOF farm we volunteered at Cerreto Libri in Tuscany. I would eat anything there – the food was unbelievable!
She said: Definitely Paris – something vegetarian. Believe it or not I have only eaten out twice in Paris and both times my mind was blown at how amazing the food was. I’ve been ruined – now I need to stockpile money just for eating in Paris!

5)This question is for Randy…What exactly are “man-nessities”? (By the way…you look great in a towel!)

He said: Oh the video….I didn’t think anyone even watched that! Thank you for the compliment as well. Man-nessities include…..prophylactics and dress socks.

6) If you could solve one problem in the world what would it be?

He said: I would end all the wars because it would free up large amounts of money and resources to help treat and solve a lot of other world problems.
She said: Greed. If greed was abolished and replaced with generosity then the world would much a better place. Greed is the root of all evil.

7)You knew it was coming….What has been your greatest travel fight/disagreement?

She said: We’ve had 2 really bad fights on the road. One in Sorrento, Italy and one in San Felipe, Mexico. The San Felipe one was the worst by far. We were bar hopping with two friends and everyone had a WAY too much to drink. My friend’s husband decided he wanted to see what a wet t-shirt contest would look like – on his wife and no one else. So completely out of the blue he took a beer and poured it all over the front of her shirt while they were sitting at the bar having a conversation – in front of everyone. You can imagine how well that went over. The night really went downhill after that.

In her anger, my friend took off and we couldn’t find her. We searched all over for her and the thought of leaving her alone and drunk in Mexico was making me more anxious and nervous with each minute. After an hour of looking around town we decided to go back to the ratty RV we had rented for the night to see if she was there. Thankfully she was. At this point it was really late – around 3am and we all needed to sleep it off. Just as everyone crawled into bed drunken Randy decided the night had not yet ended for him and announced he was going back out by himself. It was a very bad idea and I told him not to go because he shouldn’t be wandering around Mexico at night, drunk and alone. Only bad things would happen. He kept fighting with me, determined to go. We ended up having a huge screaming match and I threw my shoes at him as he walked out the door. I was so mad at him because I knew I would be worried about him the rest of the night.

Of course I was right and nothing good happened – he got robbed by two guys on the beach. Given the fact that he was obviously wasted and stumbling around I think he got off pretty lucky.

He said: Yup, that about sums it up. But at least I wasn’t the guy who tried to create his own, personal wet t-shirt contest – although do I applaud the ingenuity.

1000Fights: Now thats a couple that knows how to fight! Impressive.

I know that was seven..but you guys are too cool for just 7.

8) We loved your series: Blood, drugs, and Sangria: How to vacation in a war zone. It is clear that you guys really love Mexico, so tell us…what was the scariest moment for you guys?

She said: Hmm… basically anything involving Randy and alcohol in Mexico is scary to me! He has so many stories it’s a wonder he’s still alive. One time that was particularly scary for me was on the same night as the above story in San Felipe. We were all leaving a bar and we were walking across the street when a cop car pulled up next to us. Two Policia jumped out and grabbed Randy for no reason. They tried to throw him in the back of the car but I grabbed onto his hoodie and wouldn’t let go.

We had not done anything wrong and there was no reason for the cops to grab him so I put up a fight. I spoke a lot more Spanish then and I ended up in a large & loud verbal disagreement with the cops. This was all while playing tug of war with Randy in the middle. I was pulling with all my might to keep him out of the car. It was scary. I didn’t know what was going to happen but I knew there was no way I was going to let them just throw him in the back of that cop car. Fortunately after a few minutes the cops realized it wasn’t going to be an easy grab so they gave up and let him go. They got back into their car and drove off. We still have no idea why that happened but I think they were planning on making us pay a bribe to get him out of the car. In any case, it was so random and happened so quickly that it was pretty frightening.

He said: This was a while ago and I was drinking in Tijuana with a friend and we got separated. While looking for my friend I ended up befriending two deported gang members in the red light district. To make a long story short, I drank with them on their stoop for a while until they decided to shake me down and rob me. That was pretty scary. I thought for sure I was going to get stabbed as well but luckily they left and I took off in the opposite direction.

1000Fights: A huge thanks to Beth and Randy. What an amazing couple. One of their mottos is, “Lets go Travel”. So….Lets go!

Why Do We Do This?

By The Fighting Couple on February 6, 2012 in General, Slideshowable

“Life throws so much at you: bills, pressure, work, stress, kids, “real” life, drama, mother-in-laws, mortgage payments. The day in and day out battle of life slowly drains the love out of our relationships.”

An enlightening question from a friend this week….”So, why do you blog?” My first automatic response was something like, “To share our travel ideas, to be a part of the travel blogging community, give encouragement to others, to get out and see the world.” Yada, yada, yada. Blah, blah, blah.

But the real reason we travel blog, is YOU. Boil it all down, we want others to find happiness in their relationships. Luci and I have our struggles that’s for sure and as our “catchy” blog name reflects…our relationship is far from perfect. We fight. A lot. But it’s ok.

We count ourselves blessed to have visited some incredible places together during our 15 years of marriage. But when it comes down to it, these places don’t really matter. (We are totally serious!) What matters most to us was that we did it together as a couple. The number of stamps in our passport doesn’t matter. What matters is what is stamped on our souls.

We set out our blogging journey with a simple mission: Encourage other couples to leave the kids with the grandparents for a week and go somewhere together. If you don’t have the $$$ to do it today, set a goal. Don’t be stupid and put it all on a credit card. BAD MISTAKE! You will make things worse. Trust us, a vacation that you saved and scrimped for will be sweeter. Work together. Save. Sacrifice. Then do it. Most importantly don’t let the time together be wasted. Savor every second. Talk to each other. Renew.

Life throws so much at you: bills, pressure, work, stress, kids, “real” life, drama, mother-in-laws, mortgage payments. The day in and day out battle of life slowly drains the love out of our relationships. It happens to us. It continues to happen. A loveless relationship loses hope. You become roommates. Then bad things happen.

So why do we blog? What keeps us going? It is you. You on the other end of this Internet. We hope that there is something that we write that inspires you to make a change. If you could find one thing to work together on. Just one thing…maybe something as simple as planning a trip together.

Change is hard. Life is hard. You need a friend by your side to face it. We hope you have/find/love that special someone.

Bon voyage!

Mike and Luci

The Best Mistletoe Moment of 2011

By The Fighting Couple on December 23, 2011 in General, Slideshowable

We have a winner!

A heartfelt thanks to each of you that submitted entries. We were totally blown away by the number and more impressivley the quality of responses! Incredible. This just goes to show that love is alive and well.

Luci and I want to thank you our readers for making this an amazing year. You have shared your travel fights, crazy adventures, and tender love stories with us. We are so grateful for each of you! We wish you all many happy miles this coming year.

While we don’t have a “prize” for them, our judges thought these two were incredible! The two runners up:

Chris Walker-Bush from Aussie on the Road

“It was seconds after the ball dropped on New Year’s and my soon to be ex girlfriend and I had fled the beach party on Robinson Crusoe in Fiji to find some privacy. With our two year relationship set to end in 24 hours when she flew back to the States, tears stood in her eyes as we listened to the distant growl of the beach and felt the warm summer air on our skin. Underneath the gaze of coconut palms and the starry skies, I kissed away her tears and thanked her for the best two years of my life.”

Mike Howard from Honey Trek

“It wasn’t in an amazing location, or under a starry night sky, and it wasn’t at the perfect time. It was in our kitchen, when we realized we wanted to quit our jobs and travel the world together. After an amazing evening with friends (two of whom told us of their recent journey and inspired us), we sat in our kitchen, staring each others eyes, realizing we were in fact going to make this a reality. That kiss, is the kiss that sealed our RTW fate, and we can not wait for more Mistletoe moments in every country we visit over the next 16 months.”

Without further ado….our 2011 Mistletoe Moment is:

The Kahle’s from Wanderlivin

“A wedding can mean many different things to different people. To the bride it’s the most important day of her life. That’s why when I was told my hairdresser canceled on me the day before the wedding I tried to shake it off. When half of my family couldn’t come because of Hurricane Irene I tried to shake it off. When my photographer didn’t show up – I couldn’t shake it off. Walking down the isle in distress I saw my husband and the way he looked at me as I walked down the isle. When I reached him I pulled his face down for a kiss before the minister could even start as the waves of Monterrey Bay crashed around us and bridesmaids giggled at the ministers disapproval.”

1000Fights: Isn’t that a tender story! Congrats on your marriage! We love it. There will be time for fighting later! Luci says that they are going to have “cute” kids…not sure what that means. We wish the Kahle’s congrats and happy travels!

Thanks again to our “Celebrity” judges!