We collected a few tidbits of advice for those traveling women who get a little frustrated with their man. We broke them down into 5 simple rules:
1 Hunger-One of the intriguing features of male physiology is the constant need for…..food. In the bible of understanding all men aka: The Godfather, note when big decisions need to be made…food is included ie “Leave the gun bring the cannoli.” A little known fact is that 61 scenes involve food. Why? Men need Man Fuel. It makes everything go much better. Those little mini-meals they serve on long haul flights? Not gonna cut it.
How to deal with the food issue? A little planning can go a long way. Want to hit that French “chic” resterauant that is all the rave? You know the one. Where the portions are super tiny and the plates look like a work of art? What to do? The solution is simple. Hit a burger joint for lunch earlier in the day. Even better yet all you can eat wings! Problem solved.
2 Directions-Just like the pitiful scene of Napoleon at Waterloo or Lee at Appomattox, asking a man to hand over his sword and ask for directions is just as humiliating. Admitting defeat, even in the face of insurmountable odds, is next to impossible! Instead, might we suggest that if possible you approach by using rule number one. “Hey I am starving…is there anyway we could stop by this store/café and grab a quick bite?” (see rule #1) At the same time… this will give you a chance to inconspicuously ask for some pointers on where the heck you are. The invention of GPS has quite possibly single handedly saved our marriage. It is now a travel must.
3 Shopping– One of the key factors in maintaining our man card is preserving our dignity while shopping. Key to men’s primal instincts in the notion of hunting and gathering. We hunt something. We kill it. We drag it home. The faster the better. We view shopping as no different. Enter store. Find item. Buy said item. Done. The thought of spending countless hours comparing the fairy wings on a half dozen winged porcelain figurines is so counter to our instincts.
In order to counter this predisposition ladies…give us something to occupy our time. “Why don’t you grab some food and wait for me in the bar and watch the game?” (see rule #1) Better yet..make it our idea aka the Jedi Mind Trick. FEMALE: “This is going to take awhile…”I bet you don’t want to hangout here and look for hand bags with me.” MALE: “I don’t want to stay here and watch you drool over patent leather, I will meet you back at the hotel.”
4 The Interest Gap– This rule is best understood by reliving one of our greatest fights. The setting was west of London at what is thought to be Jane Austen’s home. AKA Female mecca. AKA Male purgatory. We pulled up to the thatched roof home to giggling shrieks of delight from Luci. When she started to bounce up and down and do the little happy clapping motion with her hands…I knew this was not going to end well. I smiled and pretended that this was what we had come to this God forsaken land for. I made it to the ticket counter where the asking price to look at a door that squeeks and a couple of old rocking chairs was explained to me. “There is no way I am spending that much for that. I am headed to the pub.” Enter a little pouting and zoooom she was gone to join the tens of other gleeful gals who were doing similar happy clapping. The men’s congress was convened at the pub next door.
As this experience illustrates…we have found that you need to budget your time to allow for things that may only interest one of you. In addition to doing the “together” things. We have found that going our own ways on vacations to see items of interest is just fine.
5 Cave Dwelling-In the Dr. John Gray’s book: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus we learn that men need their cave time. They need quite time to reflect.
“When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.” Dr. John Gray.
Vacation often creates situations that as a couple you are alone together for long patches of time. At times men need to commune with our inner Neanderthal. We need some alone time with out thoughts. We need those long lulls in the conversation. When we are quiet, we are not upset. We are not giving you the silent treatment. We are just pondering the expanse of the universe or the defensive scheme for our fav football club. This will pass and all will be well.
We hope that these few insights give you some ideas on how best to deal with men on vacation. Any other tips that we missed?