We collected a few tidbits of advice for those traveling women who get a little frustrated with their man. We broke them down into 5 simple rules:
1 Hunger-One of the intriguing features of male physiology is the constant need for…..food. In the bible of understanding all men aka: The Godfather, note when big decisions need to be made…food is included ie “Leave the gun bring the cannoli.” A little known fact is that 61 scenes involve food. Why? Men need Man Fuel. It makes everything go much better. Those little mini-meals they serve on long haul flights? Not gonna cut it.
How to deal with the food issue? A little planning can go a long way. Want to hit that French “chic” resterauant that is all the rave? You know the one. Where the portions are super tiny and the plates look like a work of art? What to do? The solution is simple. Hit a burger joint for lunch earlier in the day. Even better yet all you can eat wings! Problem solved.
2 Directions-Just like the pitiful scene of Napoleon at Waterloo or Lee at Appomattox, asking a man to hand over his sword and ask for directions is just as humiliating. Admitting defeat, even in the face of insurmountable odds, is next to impossible! Instead, might we suggest that if possible you approach by using rule number one. “Hey I am starving…is there anyway we could stop by this store/café and grab a quick bite?” (see rule #1) At the same time… this will give you a chance to inconspicuously ask for some pointers on where the heck you are. The invention of GPS has quite possibly single handedly saved our marriage. It is now a travel must.
3 Shopping– One of the key factors in maintaining our man card is preserving our dignity while shopping. Key to men’s primal instincts in the notion of hunting and gathering. We hunt something. We kill it. We drag it home. The faster the better. We view shopping as no different. Enter store. Find item. Buy said item. Done. The thought of spending countless hours comparing the fairy wings on a half dozen winged porcelain figurines is so counter to our instincts.
In order to counter this predisposition ladies…give us something to occupy our time. “Why don’t you grab some food and wait for me in the bar and watch the game?” (see rule #1) Better yet..make it our idea aka the Jedi Mind Trick. FEMALE: “This is going to take awhile…”I bet you don’t want to hangout here and look for hand bags with me.” MALE: “I don’t want to stay here and watch you drool over patent leather, I will meet you back at the hotel.”
4 The Interest Gap– This rule is best understood by reliving one of our greatest fights. The setting was west of London at what is thought to be Jane Austen’s home. AKA Female mecca. AKA Male purgatory. We pulled up to the thatched roof home to giggling shrieks of delight from Luci. When she started to bounce up and down and do the little happy clapping motion with her hands…I knew this was not going to end well. I smiled and pretended that this was what we had come to this God forsaken land for. I made it to the ticket counter where the asking price to look at a door that squeeks and a couple of old rocking chairs was explained to me. “There is no way I am spending that much for that. I am headed to the pub.” Enter a little pouting and zoooom she was gone to join the tens of other gleeful gals who were doing similar happy clapping. The men’s congress was convened at the pub next door.
As this experience illustrates…we have found that you need to budget your time to allow for things that may only interest one of you. In addition to doing the “together” things. We have found that going our own ways on vacations to see items of interest is just fine.
5 Cave Dwelling-In the Dr. John Gray’s book: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus we learn that men need their cave time. They need quite time to reflect.
“When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.” Dr. John Gray.
Vacation often creates situations that as a couple you are alone together for long patches of time. At times men need to commune with our inner Neanderthal. We need some alone time with out thoughts. We need those long lulls in the conversation. When we are quiet, we are not upset. We are not giving you the silent treatment. We are just pondering the expanse of the universe or the defensive scheme for our fav football club. This will pass and all will be well.
We hope that these few insights give you some ideas on how best to deal with men on vacation. Any other tips that we missed?
Hah! Your comment about the shopping really made me laugh. My boyfriend absolutely cannot stand shopping with me. He gets so upset that I have to try on a number of things before I decide to buy one item, IF I buy an item that is! I’ll keep your advice in mind the next time we’re out shopping. Thanks!
Bah, Shopping. Spent two days being dragged around looking at flip flops last week. The accummulation of brownie points earnt that day came in handy when I kept the girlfriend waiting for two hours after I got lost on a mountain.
I’m in total agreement with the shopping one, Jason can’t stand to go shopping. Usually we split up so while I shop he heads to a bookstore, coffee shop, pub, restaurant, etc (nicely corresponding to #1). At least we’re both happy!
I travel solo so I didn’t really think they’re would be any information in this article that I’d need to know… until after I read it and realized I DO travel with a man — myself! (Which is all a bit odd seeing as I am a woman… and not a particularly manly one at that). But the evidence is all there! I get cranky when I don’t eat enough. I hate asking for directions. I stopped shopping when I started traveling since I simply don’t have the money or luggage space. I love me some cave time. Really the only thing that marks me as somewhat girly is wanting to visit Jane Austin’s home (which, frankly, I would probably pass up if going to the pub was my other option). I must be from some sub-planet of Mars because clearly I’m not from Venus!
I considered getting Shaun a GPS for Christmas this past year. I think that may be the #1 reason for half of our arguments. Good thing that I like doing “man” things for Shaun.
Gps is so helpful. We love your blog! You guys are so much fun.
Where were you 15 years ago?- Mike
HAha! All so true … in my opinion, the biggest mistake travelling couples make is assuming they MUST spend ALL their time together!! And secondly, if they don’t it means the relationship is on the rocks!! SO not true!!
Hope you’re having a great weekend!!
I absolutely LOVE this post and it’s in great timing. I was trying to describe some of these points the other day to a girl who was taking our man behaviour way too personal. I relate hugely to the food and need for quiet reflection!
…Where’s that cave at that?
So true! Thanks for sharing.
You are right on with the food. My wife has learned that when I get quiet, it’s time to get food…now!
My wife is the food one. When we travel we bring snacks for her, not I.
Ha ha! There is some truth to these… Especially about needing your own space after traveling together for an extended period! We sailed across the ocean from Mexico to French Polynesia on a 44 ft boat with another couple. It went quite well, and it’s amazing how spending 3 hours by yourself at night with nothing but the stars, the sails and the ocean to think about can give you that necessary alone time!
I think we would kill each other if we had that long together!
Haha, funny points! But actually, of the two of us, Matt is somewhat the slower shopper but worse, the slower CHANGER! I wait forever with him changing shirts in the changing room! But hey, he’s still my absolutely fave shopping partner : )
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Haha! Hilarious.As one half of a traveling couple (the female half) I can really relate to this. If he hasn’t eaten enough…god help anyone that gets in his way!
Thanks for writing this. This is a great reminders to our ladies of some basic protocals that should be taken into consideration haha. During shopping times I usually occupy my time with my Kindle or iPad. I usually find one of the stools they use to hang clothes up when their the employees are too short and find a corner to sit. Most women don’t even look twice when I’m in the corner as their busy looking at the clothes around me or that I’m sitting in front of.
I completely agree with the need for some man time, we need that space. I also think what you’ve presented are simple solutions to issues that can explode when we feel like our prides been torn down haha.
We need some of that love in ways we can’t just say straight forward. This article is a great present to women and a greater one for us men.
Thanks Mark! Right you are!